Callzter

Basic Description

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   <default>Callzter</default>
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</image> <group> <header>Information</header> <label>Gender</label> <label>Scientific Name</label> <label>Positions</label> <label>Debating Against</label> <label>Skills</label> <label>Links</label> </group> </infobox> Callzter is arguably the greatest human being to have ever existed. ^{[citation needed]} He is so fucking awesome that every person in a google hangout he joins will have their heads implode from his epicness. ^{[citation needed]} In all seriousness though, he's a tiny little whiny unhelpful brat who constantly pesters people on Google hangouts for attention. (Citation NOT Needed). Apparently, he is also a fan of creating "dem spicy-dank memez" and shitposting (though his mother won't let him use that kind of potty-mouth-language). To that end, he usually uses the NASA-shill tried-and-tested method of photoshoping an image that was 90% CGI to begin with; typically taking Star Wars movie posters and photoshoping GDC Members' and Flat Earthers' faces onto them. In doing this, we can only assume he hopes to produce a deep allegory and commentary of the mise en scène of the Flat Earth Debate at the time, always perfectly highlighting the crusading MVPs of those on the side of science, and elegantly contrasting them to the absolute fuckwits that think the Earth is flat. Truly, Rembrandt has met his match. Also he made something called "The GDC Wiki in a Nutshell" which was kinda funny I guess or whatever...

Flat Earth

Callzter claims that the reason he only debates flat Earth is because he finds it more fun to debate than other subjects, when in actuality it's because he's so fucking one-dimensional he couldn't even face G Man in a debate on the age of the Earth.

His ludicrous obsession with debunking the flat Earth "theory" is only rivaled by his obsession with stuttering and interrupting people when they're talking, and quickly saying "oh sorry, you talk" before muting himself and continuing to masturbate to CoolHardLogic's "Testing Flattards" YouTube series.

This is amusingly ironic, especially considering that Callzter is a direct male-line descendent of Samuel Birley Rowbatham, the original founder of the Flat Earth Society. Because of this, that makes him a distant relative of both Jeran Campanella and Eric Dubay, and in consequence has the purest Flat Earther blood flowing through his veins. Despite this, he refuses to fulfill his destiny and continues to fight against his family's central beliefs.

Age

Callzter is widely considered the youngest member of the great debate community, at an absurd 15 years of age. This is astounding considering he is smart enough to come up with the idea of a GDC wiki in the first place.

Side Bitch #3

An inside joke between Callzter and Reds Rhetoric, Redline has given Callzter the nickname of "Side Bitch #3" to be a sort of sidekick to Red. Who the other 2 "side bitches" are is anyones guess; even Callzter has no bloody clue who they are himself and he would probably rather not know anyway because it makes him feel special and unique.

Trivia

• Callzter stole the idea of a GDC wiki from Pew Review and passed it off as his own.
• His profile picture is a wave because it's in the shape of the letter "C" standing for "Callzter".
• Callzter once debated against YEC but quit and moved onto Flat Earth because Astronomy is more of his thing rather than biology (what a nerd).

• According to legend, Callzter's grandfather was a teacher at the same elementary school and at the same time that Ewan McGregor (who played Obi-Wan Kenobi in the God-awful Star Wars prequel films) was attending.
• Callzter shares his birthday date with Elon Musk (June 28th). This has irreparably caused Reds Rhetoric to feel excruciating pain whenever he is reminded of this due to jealousy.