Jade West

Jade West aka meleagrisfelis aka Turkey Cat

Jade, if that is even her real name as who the hell is named after a rock, has read more books in her life than any single human being on this or any other planet. Jade primarily uses her extensive amount of knowledge in defense and building countermeasures to protect her from her psychopathic cat "Freddy" who is constantly trying to kill her in order to quell his insatiable blood lust for human sinew.

Jade also steals WiFi from the Motel 8 located just close enough to where she lives to give her 1 bar of signal strength. This unfortunately results her losing connection or going robotic in hangouts every time a room door is slammed whenever a crack whore is having a fight with her pimp.

Superpower: Infinite volubility

Most famous quote: "Shut the fuck up JD!"